Comparing can make you … or break you

We just saw a SUPER sad headline pop up in our news feed …

Self-harm, suicide attempts climb among U.S. girls, study says

What does this have to do with real estate investing?

More than you might think.

We’re not psychiatrists, psychologists … and we’re certainly not girls …

But according to the article, even mental health experts are “unclear why”, so maybe our guess is as good as anyone else’s.

So here it is …

Could it be that in a hyper-connected world of 24/7 social sharing, including an inordinate amount of shameless self-promotion … some girls just don’t feel adequate?

And if it can happen to young girls, can it happen to investors too?

We think so.

In fact, we’d say it’s essential to develop and maintain a healthy self-image … especially when it may seem like everyone else is doing so much better than you.

After all, if you FEEL like a loser, you might start to act like one.  If that happens, the negative feelings become self-fulfilling.

That’s because what you think and believe directly affects how you behave.  And how you behave directly affects the results you produce.

So if you want positive results, it starts with cultivating positive thoughts and beliefs … starting with yourself.

Of course, that’s easy to say.

But if a deal goes bad, or an investor says no, or the daily news makes it seem like the end of world is nigh … how do you stay positive and moving forward?

Tom Hopkins teaches that failure is an event and not a state of being.  It’s something that happens to you, but not who you are.

Tom says, even better, failure is an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to develop your sense of humor.

In fact, failure is the vital feedback needed to make adjustments.

So failure is a gift.  Obviously not one you actively seek, but one you readily welcome as an important part of the process of growing.

That’s why we collect Halloween Horror Stories all year round.  It’s why we talk openly about the tough times we’ve been through.

We can’t afford to forget we’re fallible.  It keeps us humble, curious, and alert.

Interestingly, as we’ve sought out bright, successful people to glean great ideas from (which we ALWAYS try to record and share with you!) …

… we’ve found almost without exception they are humble, curious, and have a history of failures too.

So we feel right at home … even though most of our friends are FAR more successful than we are.

So we don’t compare our riches, fame, or fan base.  If we did, we’d be depressed too.

Instead, we compare our experiences and interests, and look for ways to share and receive lessons from those also interested in improving … no matter where they already are.

So as you head into this holiday season and turn towards a brand new year, think about how you really see yourself and how you see others.

If you’re on top of the world, set a goal to climb a higher mountain in 2018 … and make it a point to share wisdom and encouragement with people who are working their way up.

Sometimes a kind word from a successful person can be just the lifeline needed for someone who’s feeling a little inadequate at the moment.

And if you’re the one in a temporary pit of self-doubt, remember … this too shall pass … as long as you keep focusing forward.

Also, be careful about feeding your insecurity by comparing yourself to others, or listening to people who pump themselves up at your expense.

It’s always a mistake to compare your low point to someone else’s high point.  No one gets a struggle free life … no matter what image they project.

Your mission is to live YOUR life, build YOUR portfolio, and be the best version of YOU … better today than yesterday while working to be better tomorrow than today.

The paradox of growth is it requires constant dissatisfaction with the status quo. 

But in the right environment, growth becomes the culture … the norm.  And status quo becomes unsatisfactory.

It’s where you learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable because your peer group isn’t about fortune, fame, or beauty … they’re about a commitment to growth, contribution and encouragement.

So as our pal Ken McElroy says, “If you want to change your life, change your crowd.”

If the crowd you run with … or the crowd you watch … isn’t inspiring and empowering you to grow towards your goals, it’s probably time for a social overhaul.

And this is a great time of year for introspection, housecleaning, goal setting, visioneering, and fresh resolve.

The world is full of problems, which is GREAT.  Because the flip side of every problem … including yours … is an opportunity.

It’s true in business, investing, and in personal development.  And they really do all go together.

Happy holidays and best wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year!

Until next time … good investing!


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The Real Estate Guys™ radio show and podcast provides real estate investing news, education, training, and resources to help real estate investors succeed.

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